Thank God it’s Monday!

We closed an investment yesterday.  A big one.  One that we’ve been working on for a long time.  The cycle of a deal usually follows the same path: peaks of high expectations followed by valleys of deep despair – the days when you fall asleep exhausted, knowing you’ll be wide awake at 2AM playing back the nuances and trying to figure out if you’ve still got a chance in hell or the deal is dead. It’s a rollercoaster in an endless loop: exhilaration, frustration, panic. Repeat.  Until it stops – on either the peak or in the trough.

People ask me why I’m still working. It’s certainly not for the money. It’s for Friday.  The thrill of the deal, of accomplishment.  That feeling of elation when the efforts of a team working for months on a common goal are realized.  I don’t believe you get that same satisfaction doing anything in retirement.  Not a great golf score.  Not even a hole-in-one.   A bigger fish?  And sitting on a board?  No way.  I’ve sat on both sides of that table; the directors are disconnected from the daily ebb-and-flow, the give-and-take, the subtleties and depths.   If you’re not the operator, whether it’s a corporation or a fund, it’s simply not your skin.  What about grandkids? Sure, I love my seven little granddaughters but it’s the same reward system: when I see them now, it’s because I make it a priority.   So if retirement means seeing them more, I suspect they’d soon be saying, “Mom, is grandpa ever going home?”

I’ll say, “Man, I’m so glad it’s Friday. Been a brutal week.”  And I’ll often hear, “But Gary, if you were retired, every day is the weekend.”  But it’s not – then every day is the same.  Work is good because there is anticipation: a Friday is still better than a Monday.  But Thank God I Still Have Mondays. And Saturdays still rock.  Days without meetings and obligations are only special if there are still days with meetings and obligations for comparison. I think it is good to keep working on goals, goals that involve a lot of people (as opposed to “putting.”)  Cycles that include getting excited about down time.  Cycles that include a lot of pressure. And yes, stress.  Stress is underrated.  I think when we’ve succeeded in removing the stress from our lives, we die.  Probably why I’m not one of those “life coaches.”

I had a wise boss once tell me, “Enjoy this day – the deal will never look as good as the day on which it’s signed.”  I’m not sure I believed him when he told me that, but 30 years later, I know from experience he was right.  Now that the agreement is signed, more work, more frustration, and certainly some disappointment lies ahead.  But also enough satisfaction – a brass ring or two – to keep us going.  To keep us working.

There’s a phrase popular in the Middle Ages: Momento mori.  (Remember you will die); symbolized by the skull often found in paintings – especially still lives – of the period.  So stay relevant.  Work.  Stress out.  And enjoy these precious days.

But know the difference between what’s in and out of your control

When my kids were growing up, I used to tell them that life was pretty simple. Contrary to what they might learn in libraries full of self-help and personal advice books. “You can live by two simple rules,” I’d tell them:

Rule 1:  Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Rule 2:  It’s all small stuff.

And the corollary that can (and should) be applied to most any situation requiring a decision: “What’s the worst thing that could happen if…?”

To me, life is all about setting priorities, realizing the difference between things you can and cannot control, and having fun. Not sweating the small stuff is not an excuse for being lazy, sloppy or not taking responsibility. Rather, it is simply the realization that 99% of the things we worry about (the things that keep us up at night) are probably not going to kill us.  It’s about priority, understanding who and what in your life really do matter (hint: probably not all 876 Facebook or Instagram “friends”) and staying focused on whatever that might be. Catching Pokémon may feel like the most important event in your life today, but chances are, in a year from now, it won’t have significantly contributed to your personal or career growth. Ditto for how many “likes” you get on your latest Facebook or Instagram post, or re-tweets of your last tweet.  And if you’re stressing over the recent rash of increased COVID-19 cases in parts of the US, well, that’s hardly small stuff, but unless you’re over 70 and in a nursing home, you’re probably not going to change the situation by worrying about it.  But you can take control of the situation and just stay home if you’re worried.  Considering the limited capacity we all have as individuals, most of what we deal with on a daily basis is small stuff.

But my point is not to pile on in the already overcrowded field of telling people how to live their
lives. Rather, as CEOs, we should be concerned with building great brands. And building great brands and great companies is achieved by doing a million little things right.  Wait, what? Now I’m confused…I mean, here’s the don’t sweat the small stuff guy saying we need to focus on details…a million of them?!  Could I have been wrong? Would I have to call kids and tell them to start sweating the details after all?  Perish the thought!

So now I’m on a flight to Boston and having made a note to think about big and small stuff for the next six hours, my thoughts have returned to my dilemma.  I started thinking about the flight crew, and the Pakistani airliner that crashed last month.  I thought about the landing gear on this plane, and the guy responsible for making sure that the hydraulics work consistently.   Now, that may be “small stuff.” In a little detail, one of the million things that could go wrong on this Boeing 737 (and not a new one, by the way).  And it occurred to me that for him (and me, and the other 250+ people onboard this plane), ensuring that the hydraulics work is not small stuff.  Nor are the electronics to power the flight deck, the fuel injectors that make sure the jet engines are getting enough to drink, etc.  It goes back to priorities.  I don’t want any of those guys worrying about Pokémon (at least not now) and I do want them sweating the details of their job.  In this case, lives are at stake.

Sure, for most of us, no one is going to die if we don’t write a follow-up to our champion on a new account that just closed.  Or if we don’t deliver the best possible support to a customer in need of our help.  Similarly, no one will die if we make an error in our financial statements, or don’t thoroughly test our code, resulting in a bug.  There are millions of things that could go wrong and each of us has our own set of details. The small stuff, perhaps, that may be details but are critically important.  Even if no one is going to die if we fail, there sure will be a lot of disappointment from our shareholders, customers, partners and even our employees.  This is an awesome responsibility, and should be treated with an awesome level of respect.

In short, it’s OK not to sweat the small stuff.  Just make sure you know the difference.